Big Dreams Start With The Big Sacrifice

One of the most important things we can do is identify the space between where we want to be and where we are now.

This space is where the work is and will likely include unseen obstacles, difficulties and adjustments not just for the man but for those around him.

I’ve always advised my clients to notice and write down what needs to be sacrificed in order to achieve the intended goal.

This sacrifice is not simply in terms of time wasting such as continuously watching box sets of Netflix, getting up too late in the morning, working on the wrong things etc but in the character of the man.

The habits of the man, are connected to the character he has formed within himself.

With the best will in the world, if a man doesn’t recognise, list and set to work on changing his habits of character and what these lead him to do, the best plan in the world is doomed to fail.

As an example, self-sabotage is the lack of self belief, which may seem like laziness, could simply be the fear of expanding into ones own potential.

Even though the daily habits of a man and the character he has formed will be linked, it is a good idea to write 2 columns with a heading:

What Needs To Change.

In one, will be the habits he currently indulges and these include food, fitness, alcohol, time wasting, socialising, addictions and anything else he leans towards or hides behind.

In the second will be the traits of his character and these include people pleasing, timidity, manipulation, aggression, anxiety and all of the ways he communicates with himself and others.

Just writing these down brings them to light and obviously it takes a brutal honesty and seriousness of intention to list these down with the commitment to change them.

The motivation from this often arises from a point in life where a man is sick of behaving and living in the manner he does and is curious or even desperate, to venture into the unknown.

Many men cannot get beyond the honesty of how they really are and how this manifests in their life and towards others.

The sacrifice is a form of correction and freedom and not going without as most people view it. The real suffering exists in keeping and indulging who we were never meant to be and yet this most dangerous of spaces is considered a normality and one we are emotionally invested in staying within.

Listing what needs to change exposes the defaults we have that drive us back into the familiar conditioned beliefs and habits that keeps us where we are.

Its not easy and the differing personalities we have formed to keep us as we are will fight to keep in control. 

Viktor Frankl wrote of the sacrifice as a form of burning in the quote: 

”What is to give light must endure burning.” 

The sacrifice is the shedding of old narratives and beliefs of the mind and the revealing of the character that will drive a vision forward, towards a life congruent with this new found freedom.