Aiming At Resilience & Mental Strength

Recently I posted a video on how toxic masculinity doesn’t exist and that it’s the absence of masculinity that’s toxic. It’s always interesting to see the backlash of such suggestions and how it triggers people to react in a barrage of abuse and hate.

Whenever I see this, it demonstrates the great human decline towards fragility taking place.

Those that are unwilling to face life will automatically develop and create their own self imposed hardships.

If we aim away from resilience and strength, we automatically cultivate the opposite.

Mental health issues are now becoming a trend with many people, almost an inevitability that are often used as a way to gain leverage in work, life and even relationships.

We’ve normalised what isn’t normal and continuously talk about a problem that’s become far bigger than it should be.

I’ve coached people who blame their multiple affairs behind their wives backs on their depression, absence at work on ADHD and any other manner of behaviour they can connect to a mental health issue.

Encouraging and enticing people to be weak, isn’t going to help anyone, including those looking for a way out of fully embracing life.

It’s a shame we don’t celebrate mental strength, resilience and courage as much as we currently talk about mental health issues.

Shifting the conversation to the benefits of mental strength and resilience instead of celebrating voluntary victims in the world of celebrity and the illusory heroes throughout the media, would be world changing.

We need to now aim and talk of resilience, courage and mental strength. I believe many of today’s issues throughout all of life and our increasingly corrupt power structures can be reversed this way.

Where we continually place our attention, will become our reality.

I’m not suggesting that genuine mental health issues do not exist, however, I have learnt after years of coaching that genuine mental health issues are very very rare. 

I have personally been deeply moved and inspired by some of the immensely challenging backgrounds of the children and adults I have helped. 

But most are life problems and the reactions to difficult life experiences. It’s mostly about perception not mental health.

Many want to reclaim their lives and use their experiences to do good. Many don’t and want to use their experiences for entitlement, avoidance and an escape from life.

To heighten and constantly indulge our experiences of the past for leverage in life, is almost an insult to our suffering. 

The idea that the panacea for mental health issues is talking about how you feel is just nonsense and will cause far more harm in the long term.

Men know what they really want and this remains a powerful sense of meaning through a life of courage, integrity, honour and strength.

Talking about how you feel should only be a prelude to the aiming at the above and not be left in a space of heightened vulnerability.

Coaching in my opinion should be an understanding and compassionate process, that encourages a continuous and repeated pointing towards resilience and courage. 

This way when we all experience the inevitable difficult experiences of life, our struggles will be part of our journey and not categorised within the powerlessness terms used in modern therapy culture, such as ‘emotionally damaged’ ‘scarred for life’ and ‘traumatised.’ 

The air is thin when aiming high up at courage and resilience and many will not venture this far but immense potential is uncovered within this zone.

Complaining and excuses get left on the trails far below,  alongside the tatters of the personal stories that have held them back all along.