Adversity - The Enemy Of The Fragile

Image by AberrantRealities

As we move into the post USA elections, I was saddened and alarmed to see videos of young men and women hysterically screaming and crying online, in obvious displays of excessive fragility and uncontrolled behaviour. 

It is the men indulging this behaviour that I found most disturbing. It was a display and example of just how weak and fragile men have become. 

Although this has been a source of amusement for many, I feel sorry for those that have placed something so personally harmful and revealing online, that will stay in the internet world for a very long time. 

I’ve come to realise that those demanding a constant perceived safety, and certainty in their environment, have often been denied adversity in their life and so look for an imaginary one in their environment. 

This safety zone they fight to remain in, is the hell they cannot see, because it has been disguised as a happy, safe utopia. 

They also accuse others of what they themselves are, or will despise traits in others that they themselves wish they had. 

As an example, I’ve written here before of male clients who informed me how they hate toxic masculinity in men such as Joe Rogan and David Goggins

As we progressed through our sessions though, it was revealed how they did in fact desire the traits of these men they thought they hated but resented the lack of courage they had to pursue it themselves. 

Those that feel they do not have the capacity to pursue a courageous life, will condemn expressions of courage as wrong or negative first within themselves and then in those around them. 

This is the pattern, created first from an internal programming, then projected into the external world. 

It is a form of self rejection. 

This Psychological unhinged display we have seen is what happens when courage is looked upon as dangerous, risky, wrong and isolating. It can and will result in the normalising of mental health issues. 

Austrian psychotherapist Alfred Adler recognised this when he wrote: 

“Neurosis and psychosis are modes of expression for human beings who have lost their courage.” 

Whilst weak suppressed and emasculated men have become a trend and encouraged, the pain this will result in, will be immense and catastrophic. 

Stoic philosophy teacher Seneca, offers further wisdom on this subject when he wrote: 

“No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.” 

Men that are focused on a life of courage don’t blame others for how their life has turned out, they don’t rely on others for their own joy and they certainly don’t focus on avoiding fear as a way of life. 

The opposite of this will happen when a man is too frightened to live and looks for a way out anywhere he can find it. 

He constantly rejects himself and in doing so rejects the world around him, casting himself into an inferno of despair. 

Seneca observed correctly, a huge misery will befall those who avoid the necessary adversity, that creates a responsible man who fully embraces his masculine role and life purpose. 

Here resides a man of courage, meaning, love and integrity.   

Here resides the inner peace each man craves, that only comes from fully accepting himself.